I read this the other day in Daniella LaPorte’s FireStarter Sessions, and it’s been floating around my mind ever since;
“You’re standing at a fork in the road. Presumably both roads lead to your ideal life.
There are two signs pointing to your destination.
- One says YOUR WAY
- The other says THEIR WAY
Which path do you think will be more fun? Which path will have more free falls and heart rushes, more laughter, more daring?
I answered internally I would love to do it MY way, but my least favourite inner voice said, ‘How would you do that, what is YOUR way?’
All my life, when I’m truly honest with myself I’ve always done the ‘right thing’ or ‘what’s expected.’ I passed high school well, I travelled for a year, I went to uni and graduated, got married, work hard, had kids, am a good mum and wife. I’m now 33 with 3 kids and although I’m content I do sometimes wonder what would like look like IF. I adore my kids and family, but there’s a fire in me aching to light up and be me. It continually questions and pokes away in the subconscious…
When my anxiety broke loose and I was coming out the other side I took a long hard look at what took place and work out how I can avoid that happening again. The last time it was from not speaking up soon enough, not saying what I need to, not speaking my mind instead of what people want to hear, worrying about offending others. Fear.
That same afternoon of reading, I saw this question too (I think the universe was trying to show me something that day!)
‘What are you enduring in life? What has become SO normal to you that you don’t realise it is a burden?”
That one bugged me. Having my sports background, a good example of enduring is when you injure a muscle in a match and play on. You know you’re doing more damage, but you know the pain will ease when you run it off a little. In reality it is all of your other muscles in your body changing, working harder to support the injured muscle, and if you never get that muscle 100% again, those muscles will simply endure they way they are as the new normal.
The question stopped me in my tracks.
There was much that I was enduring personally but it also made me look externally to what the people around me also might be enduring?
Working a job they hate, leaving their kids for work because they didn’t have any other option, going without healthcare in the USA because they simply had to choose a roof over their head or insurance (that one unfortunately happens a lot here in the USA), not being able to be themselves, wear the clothing they want to, living life without telling a friend they truly loved them for fear of rejection so they married someone else instead, find addiction in things that numb themselves to life, endure a life of fear because living free literally terrifies them more. … The list can and does go on.
So, what do you endure? When given a choice, what would you change in a heartbeat? What is actually stopping you making those changes? As Will Smith says in a sky diving story he shares, “The greatest things in life are on the other side of your deepest fears.”
Don’t arrive at death safely.
Don’t be afraid to live your way at the expense of yourself.
Julie Clyde is a Creative Artist. Her company, Julie Clyde Creative, leads the charge of brand design internationally for entrepreneurs and creates unique artistic pieces. She is a brand disruptor, public speaker, brand motivator, artist, wife and mum. She's a passionate entrepreneur and sees this variety in her life as the zing for what drives her creativity. Julie's blog series 'Discovery of Self' explores how you can learn to love and accept who you are from the inside out.